Random
Videos
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An 8-minute infomercial on why you should chew Skoal Long Cut. I sent this video to the US Smokeless Tobacco Company but they never responded. This is my retribution to all those shitty anti-tobacco ads out there. Get bent. Shitty advertisers with trite notions try to prime the minds of today's youth with chemically distorted lies. |
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The way you're supposed to feel when someone dies. A prime example of absolutism in contemporary man. Call it a social commentary if you will, because we're not quite sure how to validate it. Maybe with a case of Guinness all of our problems will be solved. |
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What do you think is the ultimate 40 ounce malt liquor? Hurricane? Mickey's? Perhaps Colt 45 or Olde English. Maybe it's that new Four-O, or the forgotten Camo. Have you tried Steel Reserve yet? Maybe you should. Explore the flavor and textures of 7 different 40s with Ed, Kristen, and Andrew. Your host: Alex Schloemer. |
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Kai Lewis, Guru, age 28, gives you the viewer Permission to go with him on a nature walk through the forest. Many decisions must be made. Every turn brings you closer to the conclusion or maybe further away. But you must always be aware of options and surroundings. Will you go with Kai? Get Permission. |
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Ultimate Cotton Swab Challenge Raising the bar on the amount of Q-Tips™ that be stuck up one's nose. Kristen did a poor job of filming the process, so I went ahead and spent my Tuesday reconstructing the video so you can get close-ups and a better angle of the swabs entering my nose. I punctured my brain when I did this a second time. Thanks a lot. |
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Pay attention kids. This is prank to play on all your friends and favorite restaurants. Stick a condom in the crack of a door and wait until someone opens it. The results are uncanny. Works best on straight couples and the elderly. |
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This is a confidential video leaked by the government. The rapist talks about touchy subjects such as rape, violence, and going to Delaware. This is actually an abbreviated version of the original 18-minute documentary. Footage had to be cut due to censorship and lack of bandwidth. Viewer discretion advised. |
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About a dozen different wines and four gourmet cheeses make for an excellent evening at the Wionsky residence. I can tell you Hickory Sharp Cheddar and Garlic Herb are the best cheeses on Earth (brought to you by Giant Supermarket.) Which wine was the best of the evening? Find out, or else you'll be out of the loop. |
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Geosci rocks. These guys make the edgiest discoveries about the latest bentonite formations. The mechanism for conduction here is through the veins of the quarry. It intrigues me to end. The B-13, B-14 era was probaly the most prominent time in history, making the Appalachian an excellent source of petroleum and natural gas. |
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Although a bit dated (2001), Zovirax is making a comeback. This season is all about controlling your genital herpes. Remember, there is no cure for genital herpes. Side affects may include sore throat and bleeding. I think this was the first non-music video I made. |
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Pay attention. You missed it the first time. Something this sensational is too delicate to touch again.. I'll never forget your promise to be by my side. You kept your word. I'll keep mine. |
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It took me an hour but I finally beat Marcus' score on intermediate minesweeper. I hope the ol' chap is doing all right. Releasing official government video without permission could lead to heavy repercussions. This is the reason the army is so secretive about their research. Music by local artist Chris Isaak. |
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Mr. Westerfield guilty of kidnap and murder. This is 2-minute crop of a pilot news programme. The original pilot went on for about 7-minutes, but it has been abbreviated to hold te viewers attention; I'll leave it at that. It is amazing how much you can do with and old television and ironing board. |
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Herwig's Austrian Bistro is a killer dining experience for anyone looking to sample the tastes of authentic homestyle Austrian cuisine. Since opening its doors in January of 2002, Herwig's has earned a reputation for serving only the highest quality food and providing the customers with a truly unique dining experience and Gemütlichkeit. |
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Uncle Mike asked me to make an advert to place inside the window at Jamaica Junction, so I thought about it, I got up, and I did it. It is a little reminiscent of the Stereoblind videos however, noobs to my art will be unfamiliar with its content. Features guest appearance by Schloemer. |
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Here's something I dug up while working on the IFC music videos. This is what happens after you spend the night hanging out with band kids. Band kids do a lot of drugs and have lots of unprotected sex. Parents want to keep their kids in band so they wind up like everyone else who has no shot in the music business. |
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There will be a sequel to this. I promise. I fucked it up; I ate three slices of pizza from McCafferys beforehand. I suppose I ruined the suspense for those of you who don't know the outcome. Avery promised to not talk on his cell phone the next time we hang out. |
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Filmed on location in suburban Bel Air. The time, an in-depth analysis takes place on exactly what went wrong. Don't be fooled by imitations, this is the real deal. No Gallon Challenge™ video will ever compare to this, unless of course I make another. Shout outs to all HPTi interns for being part of this massive project. LOLLERSKATES. |
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This is a project I worked on with Josh and Jeff for their band Fiction Romance. They asked me to make them a promo video to send out to clubs and radios. I'm pretty sure they never sent it out, nevertheless, I still have the completed video. Imaginary Film Club presents Fiction Romance in Trash. Filmed on location. |
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Not actually filmed on the Atlantic City Expressway, so stop badgering me. We took a ride into the city and were overwhelmed by the advertizing in the sky. It was a piss yellow morning, and he couldn't help reading all the information that was being promoted unto him. |
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Graduation: The Director's Cut This is the video I made for my high school graduation. The faculty rejected it and made me re-edit the entire opening sequence because of the typo on the marquis some ignorant asshole teacher put up. They didn't want anyone to see how stupid Hightstown High School really was. Well, here it is, the original cut. |
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Days Ahead Of Myself (JJ Maxwell Ad) Ah, another advert. This one is perticularly mind-bending, as it tunes to the styles of my techno trance electronic body house number, Days Ahead Of Myself, which can be found on Works Volume 1. Here we have a six minute visualization aide that should not make sense online, but if you watch it enough, you may just go out and buy a new pair of shoes. |
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If you've every been on youtube, you've probably seen how uninteresting video blogs are. If you understand anything about the IFC, you would know that filmmaking is a lifelong videoblog, and as a society, we aren't limited to capturing life in front of a computer. Get out there and make something you lazy fucks. |
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I saw the man with a million personalities. I am going to call it sensationalism. He came up to me and said he’d found it. Only this time had he forgotten it. It beckons you. |
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Whenever we've run out of creative inspiration, we go to the writers of CNN to find song lyrics. This is a ten-minute running of a newsreel ballad that could possibly wind up on the Billboard Heatseekers. I hate the news. It's just meant to get people wound up and paranoid, like the scientists who've spent 20 years working at the army research lab studying optical nerve receptors. |
©2001-2007 Imaginary Film Club